If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart
by NewXenalander
Summary: Alt-U. Hayden returns in Season 3, while Loretta is still pregnant.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Alt-U. Hayden returns, while Loretta is still pregnant.

**Timeline:** An alternative Season 3. Begins somewhere between episode 13 (To Sleep; No More) and 14 (Natural Magic and Dire Property). Currently I'm not sure how far I'm going to take it.

**Main Characters:** Loretta, Hayden, pretty much everyone.

**Rating:** M for coarse language (like the show, swearing is prevalent)

**Disclaimer:** The characters in Outrageous Fortune belong to South Pacific Pictures. I write for fun not profit, so I hope they don't mind too much :)

**Additional Disclaimer**: My intention in writing this story is just to explore a "what if" scenario. It is in no way me expressing any kind of unhappiness with the original writing and stories. The Loretta/Hayden love story and Loretta's pregnancy and eventual bonding with Jane are some of my favourite storylines throughout the whole series. Call this one wishful thinking I guess.

* * *

"Where is everyone?" Pascalle asked around a yawn as she shuffled across from the hall to the kitchen, tying the belt of her dressing gown. Cheryl looked up from her magazine.

"I think Van crashed at Casey and Munter's, Ted's gone down the TAB, and Loretta looked bloody exhausted when she got home last night, so I snuck into her room and turned off her alarm clock." She replied, taking a sip of her coffee. Pascalle paused in the act of putting bread in the toaster to flick a quick glance at her Mum.

"She's not going to like that..." Cheryl shrugged and looked back down at her magazine.

"It's Saturday, the Video Hut isn't going to burn down just because Loretta has a sleep in. That student of hers can open up."

"She's still not going to like it." Pascalle said in a sing-song voice, picking through the jars of various spreads in the cupboard. Cheryl pushed her chair back and stood.

"Yeah, well she..." she waved her coffee mug in the vague direction of the bedrooms as she picked up her plate and headed into the kitchen. "Needs to take better care of herself. Working all hours in that bloody shop and hardly sleeping. It's not good for her or the baby." She put her plate on the counter next to the sink and turned to lean on the bench as she drained her coffee. Pascalle snorted.

"You know she doesn't care about the baby Mum." She said in a slightly disapproving tone.

"Well I do!" Cheryl turned and put her empty mug down with more force than she'd intended, her frustrations of the last few weeks bubbling up. She looked towards the hallway, her expression settling into a worried frown. "And she should..."

With a sigh, Cheryl crossed the kitchen and reached for the cigarette packet she'd left on the other counter. Her expression altered to disgust as she found it empty.

"Shit." She muttered under her breath. She threw the packet in the bin and opened the fridge door, checking the supply of milk. Closing the fridge door, she headed back to the table and picked up her keys and handbag. "I'm heading to the shops, I'm out of cigarettes and we need milk. Can you deal with the dishes when you're done with breakfast?" Pascalle made an affirmative noise in her throat as she daintily picked her hot toast out of the toaster with her fingernails and dropped each slice quickly onto her plate. She shook her fingers for a moment, cooling them.

"Thanks love." Cheryl said, digging in her bag for her sunglasses. "You need anything?"

"Um, we're out of peanut butter, Van put the empty one back in the cupboard again." Pascalle replied, pointing her buttery knife over her shoulder at the cupboard in question. Cheryl grunted.

"God I wish he wouldn't do that. All right, I'll get some more of that too then." She put her sunnies on and headed out the door, closing it quietly behind her. Pascalle spread some Marmite on her toast and carried it to the table, pulling Cheryl's magazine towards her and flipping it back to the front page. She idly leafed her way through it as she munched her breakfast. As she was chewing the last piece of it, someone knocked on the door. Picking up the magazine, she made her way over to answer it, grinning at an article she'd just spotted. An old fling of hers, Grant Wilkes, had been caught cheating on his wife for the fourth time, and this time she was filing for divorce.

"Dunno why she didn't cut off his tiny penis after the last two times." Pascalle commented, lowering the magazine as she opened the door. Her smile faded into a scowl as she recognised the man standing on the other side of it, his hand raised to knock a second time. "What the fuck are you doing here?" She snapped.

"Nice to see you too Pascalle." The caller was none other than Hayden "bloody" Peters, ex-boyfriend of both Pascalle and Loretta, and the father of the baby Loretta was unhappily incubating. He was dressed casually, in a grey t-shirt, faded jeans and an expensive looking pair of sunglasses, which he reached up to remove. He peered past Pascalle's shoulder, trying to see if anyone else was home. "Is Loretta in? I stopped in at the shop but there was an asian girl minding it."

"She's asleep." Pascalle bit the words out, standing squarely in the doorway.

"Right..." Hayden said in a neutral tone, nodding. He gestured towards the living room with his sunglasses. "Can I come in for a bit? I kind of need to talk to her." Pascalle glared at him for a long moment, then grudgingly stepped to one side, letting him in.

"I guess... but I doubt she wants to talk to you." She said this to Hayden's back as he walked past her. She closed the door and followed him into the living room, still glaring at him.

"How's she been?" Hayden asked, tucking the arm of his sunglasses into the collar of his t-shirt.

"Duh, she got knocked up and dumped, how do you think she's been?" Pascalle said. Hayden had the grace to look mildly chagrined. He scratched at the side of his neck.

"Yeah... I guess not too good." He said, not quite looking Pascalle in the eye. "What about you? Are you still with Bruce?" Merely trying to make small talk, Hayden wasn't at all prepared for Pascalle's reaction, which was to fetch him a ringing slap across the face. His head snapped to the side and he pivoted slightly, lifting a hand to his cheek. "Ow! Jesus! What the fuck was that for?" He shouted.

"No I'm not with Bruce anymore! He dumped me and moved to Wellington! And it's all your fucking fault!" Pascalle's voice was filled with equal parts hurt and rage as she spat out the words.

"What?" Hayden was genuinely bewildered. "How is it my fault?"

"Because, he saw... that... fucking... movie! YOUR... fucking... movie!" Pascalle punctuated her words by trying to smack Hayden around the head with the magazine. He raised one arm to protect his face, and instantly cringed, his other hand lifting to grab at the side of his chest even as he tried to duck away from the blows.

"Ow! Fuck! Pascalle, lay off! I've got... broken bloody ribs!"

"Good! I hope they really hurt!" Pascalle prepared to launch a fresh assault, but was interrupted by a sleepy voice from down the hallway.

"What's all the bloody noise about?" Loretta stopped abruptly as she reached the living room doorway, taking in the tableau. Pascalle froze, magazine still raised to strike, and glanced towards her. Hayden had also stopped all movement at the sound of her voice. Now he straightened up, lowering the arm he'd been protecting his head with. Loretta's eyes widened in shock. Hayden's gaze dropped from Loretta's face to her stomach, and his jaw dropped. By the time he looked back up, his expression was almost as shocked as hers. As the moment stretched on, Pascalle saw her sister's face drain of all colour. Before anyone could speak, Loretta clapped a hand to her mouth and bolted for the toilet. For the next few seconds, the only sound in the house was of her throwing up. Hayden glanced at Pascalle.

"Jesus, how far along is she?" He asked. Pascalle shot him a dirty look.

"Five months." At this, Hayden went a little pale himself. He took a moment to digest this information. Then he frowned slightly.

"And she's still getting morning sickness?" He asked, genuinely concerned. His sisters all had kids and he had a vague memory that morning sickness wasn't supposed to last beyond the first few months. Pascalle shot him another look.

"She never _had _morning sickness." She said, throwing the now rather battered looking magazine back onto the table and heading into the hall. Loretta was kneeling on the floor in front of the toilet, breathing heavily but no longer heaving. In a rare moment of genuine sisterly concern, Pascalle squeezed in to crouch next to her, stroking her back. Loretta lifted her head and gave her a look that could only be described as haunted.

"Do you want me to get rid of him?" Pascalle asked quietly. Loretta stared at her for a moment, then climbed slowly to her feet, steeling herself.

"No." She replied, equally quietly. She reached over to flush the toilet as Pascalle stood up and backed out of the room. Hayden was waiting at the end of the hallway. Loretta afforded him only a brief glance as she went into the bathroom. Pascalle stood in the middle of the hall, her arms crossed, glaring at Hayden as he approached the bathroom door. He stopped in the doorway, waiting while Loretta cleaned her teeth. His gaze silently wandered over her, not in a letcherous way, just observing the changes since he'd last seen her. She was still in her pyjamas, having been woken by the raised voices in the living room. The black knitted cotton pants fitted snugly over her hips, the elastic at the front dipping down under the curve of her belly. This of course was the most notable change in her appearance, and it took several moments for him to tear his gaze away from it.

"Are you alright?" Hayden asked as Loretta spat out a mouthful of toothpaste, turning the tap on. She cupped a handful of water, rinsing her mouth and spitting again. Then she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"You mean apart from the parasite?" She fired back in a hostile tone, deliberately not looking at him. Hayden winced at the reference. He'd guessed she wouldn't be happy about the pregnancy, but even so he hadn't expected quite that level of antipathy.

"I meant you puking your guts up a minute ago." He said. Loretta's eyes flicked sideways and upwards, obviously considering a number of possible responses, almost certainly all sarcastic. Her jaw jutted forward for a moment and her lips narrowed.

"I'm fine." She finally said. She shot a very quick glance in his direction and immediately looked away again. "I thought you never wanted to see me again." She added, leaning both palms on the edge of the sink and staring down into it.

"I was hoping we could talk." Hayden said, treading carefully. He knew Loretta's defenses were up, he could see the tension in her posture. Her arms were rigidly straight, her knuckles whitening as she gripped the edge of the sink. From past experience he knew how volatile she could be when she was emotional.

"What is there to talk about?" Loretta asked, obviously determined not to make this an easy conversation. Hayden stirred from the doorway, walking into the bathroom behind her.

"This baby, if nothing else. Jethro, Ted and Falani seemed fairly... adamant that it's mine." He rubbed absently at the healing ribs he'd pulled while defending himself from Pascalle earlier. Loretta's head lifted and she glared at him via the bathroom mirror.

"And you were pretty adamant it isn't." She snapped, then tilted her head, still holding his gaze. "It's the demon spawn of Satan, apparently." Hayden grimaced, he'd been hoping Jethro and Ted hadn't conveyed the full conversation, as brief as it had been.

"Yes, ok, I was angry. We didn't exactly part on good terms, did we?" He said. Loretta clenched her jaw, and went back to staring down the sink, trying to block out that particularly painful memory. "So is it?" Hayden continued. "Mine, I mean."

"Well, if your name happens to be Satan then I guess it must be."

"Loretta..." Hayden's patience was starting to ebb. Loretta took a deep breath and straightened up, finally turning to face him. She leaned back against the sink, once again curling her fingers around the edge of it.

"Yes. It's yours." She finally said. Then she sighed, lowering her head and staring at the floor off to one side of Hayden. "The Doctors reckon I'm five months. Which is about how long it's been... since Aurora died." Hayden closed his eyes as the memory surfaced of a frantic, grief-driven shag. He rubbed his forehead with his fingertips and let out a quiet groan.

"Aurora's wake..." he said quietly, finally accepting the truth of it. "Shit." He turned and paced a few steps, running both hands through his hair.

"It's the only time I remember us not being... careful." Loretta admitted in a quiet, chagrined tone.

"Shit!" Hayden said again, more vehemently. He paced the length of the bathroom again, his expression running a gamut of emotions, from shock to panic, to a mix of anger and despair. He rounded on Loretta. "We weren't _careful _because you said it was safe!" He said, gesturing with a flattened hand, fingers pointing in her direction. Loretta's head snapped back up.

"No I didn't!" She sputtered, caught off guard by the sudden attack.

"I asked if you were sure! And you said do it!" Hayden blustered.

"I know!" Loretta shouted back. "I... was upset, I wasn't thinking!" Her voice cracked.

"That's pretty fucking evident isn't it?" Hayden retorted, gesturing towards her stomach.

"Okay fine! I'm an idiot! This is all my fucking fault! Is that what you want to hear?" Loretta straightened up, launching herself away from the sink, her eyes filling with tears of anger, hurt and embarrassment. She'd been mentally flogging herself for her own stupidity ever since she found out about the pregnancy, but it still stung having Hayden apparently blaming her too. She wiped her eyes, frustration at her own lack of emotional control adding fuel to her anger. "I made a mistake!" She shouted, pacing out the words. "And I already feel pretty fucking stupid about it. So if you came all this way just to give me a lecture you can fuck off!" She shouted, pointing at the door. At the sight of her tears, Hayden's temper abruptly vanished.

"Shit..." he said for a third time, closing his eyes for a moment. "No, of course I didn't." He said in a much quieter voice, opening his eyes again and trying to catch hers to convey his sincerity. Unfortunately the damage was already done.

"Well why the hell not?" Loretta's voice cracked again, and the tears began flowing freely. "I've already had chapter and verse from Mum, and Pascalle rubbing it in at every opportunity! Why shouldn't you take a shot?" She wiped her eyes again.

"I'm sorry..." he stepped forwards, instinctively reaching for her, but Loretta had already turned and fled. Brushing past Pascalle, who hastily stepped out of her way, she ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.

"Loretta..." Hayden followed her down the hall.

"Fuck off!" Her voice was muffled by the closed door, but Hayden could tell she was full on crying now. He leaned his forehead on the door, inwardly cursing himself for letting the situation get so out of control

"Look I'm really sorry. Please, I just wanted to talk!"

"I said FUCK OFF! I don't want to talk to you!" Before Hayden could muster another argument, a new voice intruded.

"What the hell's going on down there?" Cheryl's voice sounded from out in the living room. As she entered the hallway, she spotted Hayden and stopped, her jaw dropping open. Hayden turned to face her, his expression resigned, waiting for the explosion he knew was imminent.

"Hayden... what the fuck are you doing here?" Cheryl asked, walking down the hall towards him. She didn't raise her voice, but the implication was clear, the reason for his presence had better be extremely good.

"I came to talk to Loretta." Hayden replied, once again trying to adopt a calm and reasonable tone.

"It didn't sound much like talking to me." Cheryl said flatly. Hayden grimaced.

"Yeah, things got a bit out of hand, but..."

"Only because you started lecturing her." Pascalle interjected. She couldn't admit to her mother exactly why she hated Hayden, but she'd happily take any opportunity to make him look bad.

"Lecturing her?" Cheryl asked, her voice coloured with indignation.

"I didn't mean..." Hayden tried to speak, but Pascalle interrupted again, looking at her Mum.

"He was making out like it's all Loretta's fault she's pregnant." She crossed her arms again, enjoying his increasing discomfort.

"That's not what I..."

"You've got a bloody nerve coming in here and getting on your high horse! She's seventeen years old for Christ's sake!" Cheryl shouted, pointing at Loretta's door. "If anyone should have known better it's you!"

"Yeah I know that." Hayden desperately tried to get a word in edgeways and salvage the situation, but Cheryl was on a roll.

"It didn't bloody stop you did it? And then, you fucked off to Australia, and left her to deal with this shit on her own! Now, you come back and have a go at her? How fucking dare you?"

"I didn't know she was pregnant when I left did I?" Hayden shouted, finally losing his temper. "And I didn't come back to have a go at her! I came back to find out if it's really my kid!" For a moment there was silence.

"Well duh, Jethro told you it was, like, a month ago?" Pascalle said. "And you said no way." Hayden took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.

"Yeah, ok, I'll admit I really didn't want to know about it. Lets face it, things got pretty damned messy between me and Loretta before I left. Not the least of which was her burning my house down." Hayden paused, letting that reminder sink in. "And to be fair when Jethro told me she was pregnant, he never mentioned she was four bloody months pregnant. I thought it was... recent."

"What, you thought she went out and shagged someone else and blamed you?" Pascalle asked.

"The thought crossed my mind, yes!" Hayden shot back.

"Well she didn't! When you left she was really upset! And... Loretta doesn't do that sort of thing!" Pascalle paused. "Well... there was that Trent guy, but that was like, last week... so there's no way it could be his, she was already way pregnant by then." Hayden gave her a quizzical look, a little perturbed by that snippet of information. Then he turned back to Cheryl, who was also regarding her eldest daughter with a surprised expression, also not having heard about Loretta's recent one night stand.

"So why are you here then?" Cheryl asked, recovering from her momentary surprise and turning back to Hayden. "If you were so bloody sure it wasn't your kid, why did you come back?"

"To be honest, I don't really know." Hayden admitted, running a hand through his hair. "Jethro and Ted seemed pretty certain it was... I guess I had to find out if it was true."

"Well now you know." Cheryl said flatly.

"Yeah..." Hayden said, obviously still struggling to digest the knowledge. He glanced at Loretta's bedroom door for a moment, and sighed. "Look Cheryl, I know this is a tough situation. And if there's anything I can do..." Cheryl snorted, lowering her head and rubbing her forehead, laughing mirthlessly.

"You've done enough, don't you think?" She said, all traces of humour fading from her expression. Hayden opened his mouth again, whether to protest or continue pleading his case they didn't find out because Cheryl raised a hand to stop him. "No. Whatever you're about to say, I don't want to hear it right now. I've got more important things to deal with." She said with a pointed glance at Loretta's door. "I think the best thing you can do, for now, is leave." Cheryl stepped to one side of the hallway. Hayden sighed.

"Yeah, you're probably right." He said, walking past them and back up the hallway. Cheryl followed him to the front door. As he reached it, he paused, turning back to look her in the eye. "Can you please just tell her I want to talk to her? No lectures, I promise. I just want to talk." Cheryl held his gaze for a long moment, judging his sincerity. Then she gave a curt nod. He turned and left without a further word. Cheryl closed the door, then went to the table and picked up the bottle of milk she'd dumped there when she went to investigate the shouting. She put it away in the fridge, then walked back to the table and in a reflex action picked up her cigarettes. She looked at them, and then down the hall. Then she put them back on the table and headed back down to where Pascalle was listening at Loretta's door with a worried expression on her face.

Cheryl knocked quietly, then let herself in. Loretta was sitting on the side of her bed with her arms wrapped around herself. She was staring blankly at the wall, her throat muscles working occasionally as if she was fighting not to be sick again. Occasionally she blinked, releasing fresh tears to join the ones already silently rolling down her pale cheeks. For a moment Cheryl stood there, frozen with shock. She'd never seen Loretta in this sort of state. Sluggishly, Loretta's gaze lifted to meet her mother's, giving her the same haunted look Pascalle had seen earlier.

"Hey..." Cheryl whispered, entering the room and sitting next to her daughter, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. For the first time in her life, Loretta turned and buried her head under Cheryl's chin, clinging to her. She gasped, and then began to shake as the emotions she'd been bottling up for the last few months escaped in a torrent. Bewildered, Cheryl gathered her daughter in her arms as Loretta began crying in great, heaving sobs. Cheryl looked up to where Pascalle was standing in the doorway. There were tears glistening in Pascalle's eyes too as she held Cheryl's worried gaze for a few moments. Then Pascalle quietly crept away, leaving Cheryl rocking Loretta and making comforting noises as her youngest child cried herself to exhaustion.


	2. Chapter 2

"I made you a cup of tea." Pascalle said quietly when Cheryl finally re-entered the living room, having tucked her daughter back into bed. "It's probably not very hot anymore." Cheryl shrugged and took a gulp of the luke-warm, sweet liquid anyway, her expression distant. She reached for her cigarettes and lit one, for the moment forgetting her self-imposed rule of not smoking in the house. Pascalle glanced towards the hallway. "Is she alright?" Cheryl sighed, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

"To be honest, I don't know..." she said, shaking her head. "God, she never even cried as a baby. I've never seen her like this."

"I have." Pascalle said. Cheryl looked over to her.

"You have? When?" She asked, her tone conveying her surprise.

"When her and Hayden broke up." Pascalle said, her face lighting up a little, as it always did when she was about to launch into a narrative. "Well, first, they must have had a big fight, because Loretta came home and sort of stomped into her room and slammed the door. And when I went in to see what was up she was like, really crying. But more kind of angry crying than sad crying. And she slammed the door in my face. Then Hayden came over, and they had another fight. And after that, Loretta went all sort of vengeancey for a while, with the pranks and the newspaper article and stuff." Cheryl nodded, she'd heard some of that part of the story. Pascalle's expression grew more serious. "But the day that he left, you know, when she burned his house down? She came into my room that night, and she said some stuff about feeling like she had snakes in her stomach, and that her heart was going to burst... And then she started crying again. And I mean really, _really_ crying, like she was just now. She didn't stop for ages." Pascalle paused for a while, then said in a small, sad voice. "I think she really loves him Mum."

"You reckon?" Cheryl asked, swallowing the last mouthful of her tea. Pascalle nodded.

"You said yourself, she's never been like this about anything. Except him. Though God knows what she sees in him." She groused.

"You dated him." Cheryl pointed out. Pascalle pouted.

"That was before I found out what a scumbag he is." Cheryl glanced over, surprised at the venom in her daughter's voice, but Pascalle refrained from elaborating. Cheryl stubbed out her cigarette, once more deep in thought.

"I didn't think it was ever that serious. I mean, I knew she liked him, but she seemed to get over him quick enough. After they broke up, you know, she was back to normal after a day or two." Pascalle snorted.

"As normal as Loretta ever gets." She said sardonically. "She didn't though."

"What?" Cheryl asked.

"Get over him. She pretends she is, but every time anyone mentions his name, she gets this weird look on her face. Like she's gonna throw up or something. And... when she saw him today, she really did throw up." Cheryl frowned.

"Really?"

"Yep, she took one look at him, then she went totally white, and ran straight for the loo. And you know she never chucks. Except for that time back when I was dating him..." Pascalle stopped, her expression slowly turning to horrified indignation. "That little slut! She was hot on him even when he was still MY boyfriend!" Pascalle threw herself back in her chair, crossing her arms and looking disgusted. Cheryl looked at her quizzically, then shook her head.

"God, I had no idea." She absently lit another cigarette, taking a deep drag. "Jesus, you'd think I'd know if my daughter was in love with someone wouldn't you?" She gestured helplessly with her cigarette. "She makes me feel like such a fucking useless Mother sometimes. She keeps so much hidden..."

"She thinks showing emotions is a sign of weakness or something." Pascalle said, still sounding a trifle petulant. Cheryl made a face, her lips curling in distaste.

"Ugh, she gets that from her grandmother. God they're so alike it's scary sometimes. Rita may as well have been carved from bloody stone for all the feelings she ever showed."

"Yeah. And the last thing Loretta would ever do is admit she loved someone. Or that she'd had her heart broken." Cheryl snorted with sudden laughter, blowing smoke out of her nose.

"At least it proves she has one." She said, grinning. "Maybe there's hope for her yet." Pascalle also grinned, then she looked thoughtful again.

"It does kind of explain why she's so screwed up about the baby. You know, if she's still in love with Hayden, maybe that's why she didn't want to have it." Cheryl made a disgruntled noise.

"I think she'd be screwed up about that no matter how it happened. She's not exactly the maternal type." She leaned her head in her hands, rubbing at her temples. "God, what a mess."


	3. Chapter 3

It was several hours before Loretta once again emerged from her room. Pascalle had been called to fill in for half a shift at the Janet Frame, after one of the other girls went home sick. Cheryl was taking advantage of the quiet to do some chores. She heard the toilet flush as she was carrying a basket of clean washing up from the laundry downstairs. Plonking it on the table, she started pulling items out, sorting and folding the things that didn't need ironing and piling up those that did. She looked up as Loretta entered the room, now wearing her customary baggy jeans and t-shirt, with her hair tied back away from her face.

"Hey love, how're you feeling?" Cheryl asked. Loretta shrugged noncomittaly, crossing behind her and heading for the kitchen.

"Hungry." She muttered, opening the fridge and peering inside.

"You want me to make you something?" Cheryl asked, pausing to consider what they had that her daughter might enjoy.

"Cereal's fine." Loretta answered, pulling the new bottle of milk out of the fridge and a bowl from the cupboard.

"Are you sure? You missed breakfast, you need something solid..."

"I'm fine." Loretta's voice had a warning edge to it. Then she paused and added "thanks anyway" as an afterthought. Cheryl waited until her youngest had settled herself at the table with a bowl of cornflakes. Then she also sat down.

"Love, if you want to talk about this morning..." she began. Loretta pinned her with a quelling look.

"I don't." She said abruptly, putting a spoonful of cereal in her mouth.

"It might help." Cheryl persisted. Loretta swallowed, agitatedly digging her spoon into her cereal a few times.

"How is talking supposed to help?" She asked. "It isn't going to make any of this go away, is it? It won't make me any less pregnant, or him any less of a dickhead..."

"Alright." Cheryl said, raising her hands in a gesture of surrender. She got back up and reached into the washing pile again. "I just thought it might help you feel better, that's all. You know, get it out of your system." Loretta rolled her eyes and went back to eating her cereal in silence. Cheryl let her get a few mouthfuls of food down, then tried another approach. "He asked me to tell you he wants to talk to you." Loretta looked up sharply and she held up a hand, forestalling the imminent negative response. "He promised no lectures, he says he just wants to talk." Loretta's jaw set at a stubborn angle.

"I already said I don't want to talk to him." She replied, as the front door opened and Ted walked in, a copy of the latest horse-racing schedule in hand. Catching the last of her sentence, and her tone of voice, his curiosity was instantly aroused.

"Talk to who?" He asked. Loretta glanced up briefly, then looked back down into her bowl.

"No-one Grandpa." She said with a sharp shake of her head. Hayden was still a very sore subject with the eldest of the Wests, and Loretta really didn't feel like listening to him ranting. Ted looked at Cheryl, who ignored him, throwing the pile of clothes needing ironing back in the basket and carrying it over to the couch where she'd leaned the ironing board earlier. Ted shrugged.

"Suit yourself. I'll be in the loo if anyone wants me." He said indifferently, tucking the book under his arm and heading down the hall. Loretta quickly finished her cereal and took her bowl into the kitchen, rinsing it and leaving it next to the sink. She silently walked down to her room, emerging a minute or so later wearing a jacket, with her backpack slung over one shoulder.

"I'm going to work." She called out on her way to the front door. Cheryl stopped struggling with the ironing board for a moment.

"Will you be home for tea?" She asked, knowing better than to try to talk her daughter into staying home for the rest of the day. She settled for making sure she was home at a reasonable hour at least. "I thought I might do a roast."

"Yeah, should be." Loretta answered, stepping out and closing the door behind her. Cheryl sighed and went back to battling with the ironing board, finally wrestling it into standing up and locking into place. 


	4. Chapter 4

Dinner that evening turned out to be a typical West impromptu gathering. Kasey and a very stoned Munter dropped off an equally stoned Van late in the afternoon, and were invited to stay. Jethro, having also received an invitation by telephone, arrived just as Loretta was getting out of her car. Pascalle was setting the table as they entered, and Cheryl was pulling the roast out of the oven. She put it on the counter in front of Wayne, who was waiting with carving knife and fork. He immediately got stuck into carving it up.

"Oh, good timing you two." Cheryl said, accepting the bottle of wine Jethro had brought in with him, along with a kiss on the cheek. "Loretta can you go tell Grandpa that dinner's ready?" She heard Loretta call out an affirmative from the vicinity of her bedroom where she was dropping off her backpack. Cheryl put the wine in the fridge to cool and went back to the oven to retrieve a pan of roast potatoes and vegetables which she emptied into a large dish. As she did so, she half-listened to Kasey chattering about her latest design ideas. She couldn't help noticing Kasey was sticking to Hoochie Mama designs, and avoiding any mention of Love Socks. She was quite grateful for the omission though. She might have agreed to go ahead with the idea, but it was still a sensitive subject between the two, and she didn't want anything spoiling the currently convivial mood.

Over in the living room, Van and Munter were sprawled on the couch, sharing a joint and having a spaced-out sounding conversation.

"If you could do any job in the world, what would it be?" Munter asked, his voice croaking slightly as he tried to talk while holding in a lungful of smoke. He handed the joint to Van who took a deep drag while he considered the question. Van turned the rollup sideways and looked at it, grinning.

"A dope harvester. That'd be a sweet job man." He said dreamily. Munter nodded, taking the joint back.

"Yeah, especially if you could take some home, you know, as part of your pay." He took a drag. "But it would be a pretty short term sort of job, wouldn't it? Either that or you'd have to keep moving around the country to all the different plantations."

"Yeah true." Van agreed. He lapsed into thought again for a while. "What about... a model undresser." Munter frowned, confused.

"A what?" He asked, before taking another hit.

"Well, you know at like, fashion shows, how the models come out lots of times wearing different clothes." Munter nodded, starting to catch his drift. "And they don't have much time to get changed in between right? So I reckon there must be someone backstage who like, helps them get undressed." Van grinned. "Man that job would be choice. Undressing hot chicks for a living." His grin broadened and he reached for the joint.

"You'd probably have to help them put the next lot of clothes on too though." Munter pointed out.

"Well, yeah I suppose..." Van conceded, trying to hold the smoke in. He waved the rollup in Munter's direction. "Maybe you could do that bit ay?"

"Nah that wouldn't be cool," Munter said, looking a bit indignant as he took the joint back. "You get all the fun of undressing and I have to do all the dressing? That's a bit one sided bro, cause I reckon the dressing would be harder to do."

"Yeah true." Van said, then he grinned again. "I guess we'd have to take turns then."

"That sounds fair." The contented expression returned to Munter's face.

"Choice." Van said, drawing out the word. He opened his mouth to say something else but before he could speak, they were interrupted.

"Right you two, dinners... hey! What have I told you about smoking in the house?" Cheryl shouted, having been too distracted to notice the telltale smell until now. Munter hurriedly stubbed out the joint.

"Oh sorry Mrs West!" He got up and opened the ranch-slider, making a fairly unsuccessful attempt to waft the smoke outside. "I forgot about that, what with it being a new rule and all." He said in an aside to Van who had joined him in his efforts, using the newspaper from the arm of Grandpa's chair.

"Yeah, Mum doesn't want Loretta's baby getting stoned or something." Van replied, in a tone that implied he didn't really know what the fuss was about.

"Well that wouldn't be too good for it I guess." Munter said, sounding guilty and a little worried. Van stopped waving the newspaper, and threw it back onto Grandpa's chair, lapsing into thought again.

"I wonder what would happen though?" He pondered. "Like, would it get the munchies? Cause it can't raid the fridge or anything."

"It would probably just give Loretta the munchies, cause it's getting all of its food from her." Munter replied in a knowledgeable sounding tone.

"Oh yeah... and that would be bad ay, cause she's not even allowed to eat half of the stuff in the fridge at the moment." Van chuckled, closing the ranch-slider and heading towards the table. He reached over the counter and snagged two beers from the slab he and Munter had brought in earlier. "She's not allowed to drink piss either, not even beer. Mum's being real strict about it." He said, handing Munter one of the cans.

"I bet Loretta's not very happy about that." Munter said, putting the can down on the table and pulling out his chair. As he sat down, he turned to give Kasey a quick kiss, which she broke off her conversation with Cheryl to return.

"Not at all bro, not at all." Van said, cracking open his beer and taking a large swig.

* * *

"Grandpa..." Loretta called out, knocking on the caravan door. After a moment it opened and Ted poked his head out through the crack.

"Oh you're talking to me now are you?" He asked. Loretta put on her most contrite expression.

"I'm sorry about earlier Grandpa, I was tired, and Mum was kind of bugging me about something. It wasn't anything important, honestly." Ted was the only member of her family Loretta was truly close to, so she didn't want him to be out of sorts with her. Grandpa made a huffing noise, and being familiar with most of his mannerisms, Loretta took this to mean she was forgiven, but he was refusing to say so. She smiled. "Mum sent me to tell you dinner's ready." That gained her a much more enthusiastic response.

"We'd better go in then, before Trotsky gets his snout in the trough." Ted said, stepping down out of the caravan and closing it behind him. He put an arm around her shoulders, squeezing them for a moment, before letting go and giving her a gentle prod in the direction of the house.

They arrived in the dining area just as Cheryl was finishing dishing up. Walking behind the table, Loretta reached over and picked up a can of beer. At Cheryl's sharp glance, she put on an expression of wounded innocence and pointedly handed the can to Ted, giving him a falsely sweet smile. Cheryl's eyes narrowed in a mock-glare, silently warning her youngest to behave herself. Loretta merely rolled hers and went into the kitchen for a glass of cola instead. She knew it was futile trying to get one past Cheryl like that, but couldn't resist trying, if only to wind her Mum up.

Dinner was, as usual, a fairly animated affair, the conversation meandering through a variety of subjects. Pascalle regaled them with a few of the latest antics from the residents at the Janet Frame. Then Grandpa casually asked Wayne how his new job with "the senior squealer" was going. Refusing to rise to the bait, Judd said he and Mike were getting along fine. This led to a few minutes of banter between him, Van, Munter and Ted, with them talking about stake-outs and other wildly imaginitive ideas about what his job entailed, and him refuting most of it. Then Kasey segue'd them into another work-related subject by enthusiastically announcing Munter's decision to find a job. Munter downplayed this, shyly saying he was still considering what he'd like to do.

"Well good on you for putting some thought into it." Cheryl said encouragingly. "Maybe you can help Van find something while you're at it." When Van gave her a slightly sulky look, she stared him down. "It's about time you got back out there love, don't you think?" He muttered a fairly unenthusiastic affirmative. Silence fell for a few moments.

"So... I had a call from Hayden today." Jethro said in a deliberately casual tone, leaning back in his chair. As he spoke, he looked directly at Loretta, clearly baiting her. Loretta's expression immediately darkened and she gave him a cold look.

"Hayden bloody Peters?" Snapped Grandpa.

"Yep, he's back in town for a while." Jethro said.

"We already know that, he showed up here this morning." Pascalle said, glancing from him to Loretta who was now staring at her plate, silently stabbing her fork into the remains of her dinner.

"That poof was here? What did he want?" Grandpa asked sharply.

"He just wanted to talk to Loretta." Cheryl said, trying to quell the imminent explosion from the senior member of the West family.

"He'd better be planning to do more than talk." Grandpa said. This raised a few eyebrows around the table, but before anyone could speak, he stood up and turned to face Judd. "Come on Porky, get that shotgun of yours."

"What?" Wayne asked, his brow crinkling in disbelief.

"That man's going to face up to his responsibilities one way or another!" Ted declared. There was a cacophony of responses to this, a shocked "Grandpa!" from Loretta, a loud "Ted!" from Cheryl a couple of "what"s and "whoa"s and a "now hang on old man..." from Judd.

"Sit down Ted! You're not organising another bloody lynch mob." Cheryl said. Ted remained defiantly standing.

"I've said it once, I'll say it again, he's not getting away with knocking up my Granddaughter!" He turned to Loretta who was staring at him, momentarily speechless. "Don't you worry girl, I'll have him up that aisle if I have to knock him out and drag him up it!"

"What if I don't want him dragged up the fucking aisle?" Loretta found her voice again, launching herself to her feet and glaring at him across the table.

"Then I'll bloody drag you up it too!" Ted shouted.

"I'd like to see you try!" Loretta challenged.

"Stop it the pair of you!" Cheryl shouted them both down. Loretta turned towards her, drawing breath again. Catching sight of Cheryl's expression, she clamped her mouth shut on whatever she was about to say and stomped off down to her room, slamming the door. Ted sniffed, and Cheryl rounded on him. "Not another bloody word Ted!" She said. "Whatever Hayden's here for, that's between him and Loretta, and none of your bloody business. So drop all this shotgun wedding crap, do you hear me?" Ted glared at her, but she stared him down. Finally, he turned to Jethro, looking for an ally. Jethro held up his hands in a "don't look at me" gesture.

"Mum's right Grandpa. Giving Hayden the bash in the name of family honour is one thing, but you can't force him to marry Loretta at gunpoint." Jethro said, trying to reason with the old man.

"Yeah, that's inhumane, even for a scumbag like him." Pascalle chimed in. Ted sniffed again, but he finally subsided and sat down.

"So what's for pudding?" He asked.


	5. Chapter 5

Several days passed and having heard nothing more from him, Loretta was able to put Hayden mostly out of her mind. Jethro had inadvertently helped with this, providing quite a delightful distraction by breaking his leg. Tormenting him in between meetings with Real Estate agents cheered her up no end and by Wednesday she was in quite a good mood. Until Hayden paid her another visit. At mid-morning on a weekday, the Video Hut was empty and Loretta was behind the counter, scanning a pile of overnight returns back into the computer. She heard the door open and close, and looked up as Hayden approached the counter. He was dressed slightly less casually this time, in a striped dark burgundy shirt and dark blue-grey jeans. The moment she saw him Loretta's good mood evaporated. Her stomach immediately began churning, and she clenched her jaw, fiercely quelling the nausea.

"If you've come to have another go at me you can fuck off." She said flatly, glaring at him for a moment before looking back down at her DVDs.

"I didn't." Hayden said, raising an empty palm. "I came to apologise." Loretta paused, glancing up at him.

"Apologise..." She said, her voice rich with disbelief.

"For the other day." Hayden replied, ignoring her tone. "I was way out of line. I shouldn't have gone off at you like that." He paused for a moment, making sure he caught her eye. "And I'm sorry." For a long moment Loretta stared. Her mouth opened, but she made no sound, as if unsure what to say. Then she seemed to shake herself out of it.

"Fine. Apology accepted. You can go now." She said in a deliberately casual, uncaring tone. She looked down again, closing the DVD pack she'd just scanned and reaching for the next one. Her movements were jerky and mechanical, betraying her level of agitation. Under the defensive front, it was obvious his presence disturbed her.

"I also came to give you this." Hayden said, and slid a stapled, two page document onto the counter. Loretta afforded it a quick glance, but didn't take in any details. She stared instead at the computer screen, not really seeing it.

"What is it?" She asked, curious, but trying to sound disinterested as she absently tapped a key to acknowledge a late return warning on the DVD she'd just scanned.

"Call it a peace offering." Hayden replied. Loretta paused again, but set her jaw at a stubborn angle, and resolutely kept her eyes on her work. "It's a recall notice," Hayden continued, "for the DVD's. Issued this morning." As expected, that got Loretta's full attention. Her head shot up, her eyes widening in surprise as they met his.

"What?" She asked, reaching for the document. She scanned it briefly, then looked back up at Hayden. "I thought you said you couldn't do this." She said in a dangerous tone.

"I said I couldn't recall them and take your name off." Hayden clarified quickly, and pointed at the document. "This is a request to recall all unsold copies for destruction. Given how you felt about it, and the damage it's done to Pascalle, I hoped that would be close enough." Loretta just stared at him, not even blinking. Finally Hayden dropped his gaze, looking off to one side, shrugging slightly. "It's only a voluntary recall. There are probably some private copies out there. But it won't be on shelves anymore."

"Or cable channels?" Loretta asked, remembering how Bruce had seen it. Hayden nodded.

"The public viewing license has been revoked, and a refund offered for the copies that come back." He confirmed, looking up again, his expression conciliatory. "I know it's not exactly what you wanted, but it's the best I can do." Loretta blinked, her forehead creasing as she struggled to make sense of this unexpected act.

"Why would you do that? And how can you even afford it? It must have cost a fortune." Loretta said, this time fully reading the document, which appeared to confirm what Hayden was saying.

"Insurance money. If you recall, just before I left, _someone_ burned my house down..." Hayden was slightly gratified to see Loretta's cheeks flushing, whether from shame or anger he wasn't sure. He leaned an elbow casually on the countertop. "I was at Jethro's when the fire department called my cellphone. It was obviously arson, and given I was already trying to sell the place, it all looked extremely suspicious. Jed helped me put together a good cover story, in return for me not telling the real story." He ducked his head slightly, trying to catch her eye, but Loretta's gaze was fixed once again on the DVDs she was processing. Jethro had never mentioned exactly how he'd persuaded Hayden not to dob her in. He'd just dropped some vaguely threatening comments about her owing him one, which she'd ignored as a matter of course. Finally giving up trying to catch her eye, Hayden continued. "The insurance company took their time, but they finally paid up last week." Silence fell for a long moment, and Loretta shuffled her feet. When she finally looked up and spoke again, she seemed slightly subdued.

"Ok, that explains the how, but I still don't get the why. Why would you do this?" She asked, once more picking up the recall notice and waving it in front of him, her expression frankly disbelieving. "I thought you hated me. You said you wished you'd never met me, and that was _before_ I burned your house down. Why would you..." suddenly her expression froze, and she began shaking her head. "Oh don't you dare." She said slowly, pointing a finger at him. "Don't you _dare_ say it's because of this fucking baby." She said, now pointing at her stomach. Hayden blinked, a little taken aback by the sudden venom in her tone. He straightened up, letting go of the countertop. Before he could even form a denial, she continued.

"That's it, isn't it? You came back for the kid! Well you didn't need to bother with this." She said, throwing the document at him, forcing him to scrabble to catch it. "As far as I'm concerned you can have the bloody kid. Just as long as you promise to take it and fuck off back to Australia!" She glared at him for a moment, then turned and made a beeline for her office.

"What? No... Loretta wait!" Hayden dodged around the counter, managing to catch the door just before she was able to slam it.

"Fuck off Hayden!" Loretta tried to shove the door closed, leaning all her weight on it, but Hayden had managed to get his foot, knee and shoulder in the door. Unfortunately that also meant his ribcage.

"Ow!" He yelled, catching the edge of the door and shoving back. Loretta gave up her attempts to close the door on him and backed across the room. He stepped inside, holding a hand to the side of his chest. Loretta appeared to be looking around for something to throw. Hayden spoke quickly, trying to stall her. "Loretta would you just listen for a minute?" He asked, wincing. "Please? Just let me explain." Loretta crossed her arms, glaring daggers at him, and he prepared himself to dodge if she reached for any sharp or heavy objects. After a long moment of silence though, she finally relented.

"You've got two minutes." She said shortly. Hayden nodded.

"Thank you..." he said, gathering his thoughts as quickly as he could. He turned and closed the door, giving them some privacy in case any customers came in. Then he turned back to face her. "I didn't come back just for the kid. If anything that was right up there on the list of reasons to stay away. Which I had every intention of doing, especially after that visit from Jethro and his little posse. But it got me thinking." He raised a hand, stalling Loretta as she took a breath, ready to start shouting. "About us, about what we had before. And I couldn't just leave it like that." He held up the document. "I did this... because that movie is what started it all." He said, making a sweeping gesture with one hand. "All of the shit that went down between us. Because when I messed with that movie, I forgot something. Something really important." Loretta snorted.

"Your brain? All sense of taste?" She asked sarcastically. "Not that you had much to start with."

"I forgot how much that movie meant to you." Hayden replied, ignoring the taunts. "I got so caught up in the money, I forgot I was messing with the dreams and ambitions of someone I cared about, a great deal." Loretta blinked, her jaw dropping open slightly, and Hayden began to feel a tiny bit of hope as her expression softened. "Look I fucked up... I know I did. And this was the best way I could think of to say I'm sorry." He continued, sincerely laying himself at her mercy. "I'm sorry I messed with the movie. I'm sorry I was too stubborn to try to fix things between us before they got so out of control." He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "And I'm really sorry I left you in this shitty situation." He gestured towards the bulge stretching the front of Loretta's "Beam me up Scotty" t-shirt. He instantly realised he'd made a mistake mentioning the baby, as Loretta's expression immediately turned cold again.

"You're sorry..." she said, in a flatly disbelieving tone. "Well, that fixes everything doesn't it?" She shook her head slowly, staring at him. Then she let out a sharp huff of silent, disbelieving laughter. "I tried to say I was sorry, do you remember that?" She asked, leaning towards him slightly. "And you... you didn't want a bar of it!" She made a slicing action with her hand, palm down.

"I was angry..." Hayden interjected. "After all the shit you put me through, I kind of had a right to be!"

"And I was heartbroken!" Loretta shouted back at him, her eyes reddening. Hayden gaped. Heartbroken was one of the last terms he'd ever expected to hear Loretta use, especially in reference to herself. Before he could react, she continued. "I thought you knew me better than anyone! I trusted you! I loved you!" Loretta even surprised herself with that outburst. She blinked a few times, and a single, stray tear forged a path down her cheek. She angrily wiped it away, hating to show any sign of weakness. "And when I tried to tell you, when I realised I'd gone too far, and why... you threw it in my face." She started to shake her head again, her eyes once more filling up. When she began speaking again, her voice quavered as she tried to hold the tears in check. "Do you have _any_ idea, what I've been through since you left? Do you have any idea of the _hell_ my life has become? Especially since _this_?" She pointed at her stomach. Hayden's shoulders slumped and his temper faded as fast as it had flared.

"No, I can't even imagine." He said quietly. "And I'm sor..."

"Don't say you're sorry!" Loretta interrupted. "Sorry can't fix this, sorry doesn't make it magically go away. What was it you said to me? Sorry doesn't cut it!" Loretta's tone was a mixture of fury and anguish.

"What about I love you?" Hayden shot back. Now it was Loretta's turn to gape, hearing her words from that fateful confrontation echoed back to her. Hayden took a deep breath, and let it out with a slight wince and a sigh. "I can't get you out of my head Loretta." He said, giving her a helpless look. "God knows I tried everything I could think of." He ran a hand through his hair. "I moved to Australia, shacked up with a leggy blonde who makes Pascalle look like a member of MENSA..."

"Back down to your usual standards then..." Loretta interjected, but it was almost like a reflex comment, her tone lacking its usual venom. She looked almost dazed.

"The point is it didn't work." Hayden said, cutting her off and putting both hands on his hips. "Even before Jethro called to tell me you were pregnant, I couldn't stop thinking about you. That's one of the reasons I tried to deny it was mine. But in the end I couldn't stay away." He looked towards the ceiling, as if asking for guidance, or possibly a bolt of lightning to put him out of his misery. "You're aggressive, manipulative, ruthless, possibly borderline psychotic... and quite frankly, you scare me. But God help me I _still_ love you." He finally relaxed out of his aggressive stance. "You are, without a doubt, the most aggravating woman I've ever met in my life. But you're also the most brilliant, ambitious and exciting woman I've ever met, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with. If you'll have me." Loretta stared at him for a long moment.

"You... you want to get back together?" She asked, her tone disbelieving. "After everything that happened? Even with this?" Once again she pointed at her stomach.

"That about sums it up, yeah." Hayden replied.

"This isn't some kind of weird Catholic "patch things up for the sake of the kid" thing is it?" Loretta asked, frowning, still not quite willing to believe him.

"No, for the last time it's because I love you!" Hayden replied adamantly. "Though right now I'm starting to wonder why..." He took a deep breath. "Look, maybe you hate me. Maybe there's too much damage done, too much water under the bridge. If that's the case, then I guess there's not much I can do. But if there's a chance... that we can work this out, I'll take it. Even if that means being a father, because believe me, I'm no more thrilled about it than you are." He waited for a few moments, but Loretta just stared at him, her mouth working silently, apparently speechless.

"Well, I guess that was my two minutes. Look I'm not going to pressure you. I know a lot has happened. But thanks... for listening at least." He said. "I'll leave you to think it over. Jethro knows where to find me if you want to talk." He took one last look into her face. "I really do love you." He said in a soft voice. Then he turned to the door. Just as he put his hand on the handle, Loretta's voice stopped him.

"I love you too." The words came out in such a rush they almost melded together, but it was enough to stop Hayden in his tracks, to make him turn to face her again. Loretta was still staring at him, still seemingly frozen. Her lips once again half formed silent words as she apparently struggled to speak. She swallowed hard, and took a hesitant step forward. "I do." She finally said, reinforcing her words. "And... I'm sorry too... for all the crazy shit." She looked down, then off to one side, shuffling her feet. "And for burning your house down." She said in a quiet, embarrassed voice. Hayden chuckled, and she looked up. When she saw him grinning her lips curved into a small, almost shy smile.

"Apology accepted." He said, walking towards her again. As he reached her, his expression turned serious again. He reached out one hand, cupping her cheek gently, then leaned in and kissed her. She leaned into it, closing her eyes. He held on, letting the kiss linger until they both needed to take a breath, then he broke it off and pulled her into his arms. She let out a half laugh, half sob and wrapped her arms around him as well, snuggling her head into his shoulder. It took a few moments for him to realise that she was crying. "Hey... shh." He whispered, kissing her hair and stroking her back, a little alarmed to feel her shaking. Her only response was to take a ragged, whimpering breath and hold him tighter. The crying jag didn't last very long. After a minute or so Loretta's breathing settled down, and she sniffed. "You ok?" Hayden asked, his words slightly muffled against her hair. Loretta nodded, making an affirmative noise. She cleared her throat, sniffing again. He loosened his hold on her, kissing her on the head again. "You know, you're gonna have to get a handle on this crying thing, it's a little unnerving." He said teasingly.

"It's the fucking hormones." Loretta said grouchily. When he chuckled, she gave him a mock glare. "Shut up." She said, pulling back out of his arms and giving him a gentle thwack in the chest with the back of her hand. Hayden winced.

"Ow..." he said, "careful with those". Loretta frowned slightly.

"Yeah what happened there?" She asked.

"Falani happened." Hayden said, grimacing at the memory. Understanding dawned in Loretta's eyes.

"I heard they paid you a visit." She said, her lips once more curving into a smile.

"Hmm, yes, Ted, Falani and Jethro showed up at my house to make me face my responsibilities. And you evidently heard my reaction." He gave her a slightly sheepish look, and Loretta narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, they weren't very impressed either." He continued. "By the time they finished with me, I was a little worse for wear. Two black eyes from Jethro, and three fractured ribs courtesy of one of Falani's fists. Along with various other scrapes and bruises. Your brother swings a mean right hook."

"Gosh, who knew he had it in him?" Loretta said, once again smiling broadly. "That's right up Falani's alley, but it's unusually manly for Jethro. I hope he didn't break a nail or anything, he'd have been traumatised for weeks." Hayden smiled wryly at her, shaking his head.

"I really do wonder why I love you." He said. Loretta's smile turned coy, and she reached up to cup his face, pulling him into a lingering kiss. As she pulled away, Hayden gave her a speculative look, quirking one eyebrow, then he smiled. "Well, that's one reason." He said. Loretta grinned and kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck. What started as a loving caress very quickly turned passionate. Hayden's hands found Loretta's hips, turning her and walking her backwards until her backside met the edge of her desk. She let go of his neck long enough to lift herself up onto it, giving him room to stand between her knees. Then she used both hands and legs to pull him close, gripping the front of his shirt with one hand and the back of his head with the other. Through this entire manoeuvre their lips never parted. Before things had a chance to get too heated though, they were interrupted by a voice in the shop, calling out a hello. They both froze mid-kiss. The voice called out again and they both turned their heads towards the door. "I think... you have customers." Hayden said. Loretta let out a small groan of frustration and he grinned, turning back to face her. "We'll have to finish this conversation later eh?" He said, giving her another quick kiss and helping her get back down off the desk.

"Not too much later." Loretta replied, grinning back at him and stealing one last kiss for the road.


	6. Chapter 6

Cheryl barely controlled the urge to slam the door on her way into the house. Briefly glancing around to make sure the living room was empty, she dumped her handbag on the counter and went straight into the kitchen. One hand reached up for a glass while the other fumbled for a half-empty bottle of Rum. Slamming the glass onto the counter, she unscrewed the top of the rum and poured half a glassful. The bottle also hit the counter with a loud thunk, and her hand shook with helpless rage as she lifted the glass and took a large gulp. Her mind kept running over and over the conversation she'd just had with Gary Savage.

"I'm glad you dropped in actually. I need to talk to you about our loan. I'm afraid I'm going to have to call it in."

"What, all of it?"

"I'm afraid so."

"What... where the hell am I going to find a hundred and twenty grand all of a sudden?"

"Well don't panic. You don't have to pay right away... you've got thirty days."

The words, and Gary's indifferent tone, seemed to reverberate through her ears. The glass slammed down on the counter again, spilling alcohol over her hand and onto the tiled surface.

"Fuck..." she whispered, mindful even in her state of high agitation, that someone else might be home. She turned to the sink, rinsing her hand and the dishcloth, then using it to wipe up the spill. All the she was while swearing under her breath with ever more vehemence until she finally threw the cloth back into the sink as hard as she could with a final "FUCK!"

She leaned on the counter, facing the window, breathing hard, fighting both tears and the urge to start throwing and breaking things. How the hell did Gary expect her to find the money to pay him back?

Just then, she heard the bathroom door open out in the hallway. She took a deep breath, forcing her temper back into its cage and walking back over to pick up her drink again. With a huge effort of will, she managed to present a neutral expression as Wayne entered the room, clad only in a bath-towel wrapped around his hips. A few stray drops of water from the shower beaded on his muscular chest, normally one of her favourite sights. Tonight, she was too upset to notice.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in." Wayne made his way past her, picking up the kettle and filling it.

"I only just got home." Cheryl said, taking another large drink of Rum. She picked up the bottle and gave serious consideration to refilling the glass. Instead she put the bottle back on its shelf and managed a smile as Wayne leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Everything ok?" As hard as she tried to hide it, Judd could always tell when something was bothering her. For one moment, Cheryl considered telling him, desperately needing to get it off her chest and vent her anger and frustration. No, she decided, she wouldn't burden him. It was her decision to use an expensive Lawyer, it was her decision to accept a loan from Gary, a virtual stranger. So now it was up to her to deal with the consequences. She managed to rein in her temper again and merely made a disgruntled noise in the back of her throat.

"Oh you know, the usual, work, kids..." feigning a casual demeanour, she leaned one hip against the counter.

"Are things still awkward between you and Kasey?" Wayne asked. He held up a cup, wordlessly asking if she wanted a cup of tea, to which she shook her head.

"Nothing I can't live with I guess. At least Kasey's happy, she's up to her elbows in designs for a whole range of cock socks..." Cheryl's voice dripped with derision, and Wayne grinned, chuckling silently as he poured hot water into his cup.

"So what's wrong with the kids?" He asked, heading to the fridge for some milk.

"Well, nothing with most of them. I mean, I wish Jethro would come and stay, let me look after him. But he swears he's fine. Pascalle seems to be doing well at the Janet Frame. And Van's at least putting some thought into getting a job..."

"Which leaves..." Wayne left the obvious answer dangling.

"Loretta." Cheryl said in a dark tone. Here at least was something she WAS free to vent her feelings about. She finished the last of her Rum in one swig and turned to place the empty glass on the counter. She felt Wayne move up behind her and leaned back into him as he wrapped his arms around her, propping his chin on her right shoulder. She sighed deeply. "I really hoped she'd start to settle a bit, you know? I mean, I know it's too much to expect her to like the idea of having a baby, especially at her age. But I hoped she'd at least get used to it. It's like she's determined to ignore it completely."

"Well it's only been what, a month? Give her a bit of time eh? She's just focusing on other things right now." Wayne tried his usual reasonable approach, at the same time tilting his chin down to nuzzle into the crook of her neck. Cheryl snorted derisively, even as her head tilted, reflexively giving him more access. He quickly took advantage, his lips leaving a trail of small kisses up the side of her neck, stopping just under her ear.

"Yeah, that bloody shop." Cheryl said, sounding a little distracted. She swallowed a half-formed impulse to start ranting about Loretta wasting her brains managing a video shop. She shook her head, and Wayne pulled his mouth away from her neck, protecting his nose from taking any damage from her sudden movement. Cheryl abruptly broke away from his loosened embrace, picking up her glass and taking it to the sink. A little taken aback, but sensing she needed to vent her agitation, Wayne didn't protest. He followed her over and finished making his cup of tea, squeezing out the teabag and throwing it in the bin as Cheryl once more went back to the counter. She reached for her bag, needing a cigarette. She got the pack out but did not yet open it, instead gesturing with it as Wayne moved close again, sipping his drink. "You know if anything, she's getting worse. Ever since Hayden came back. God..." Cheryl pulled a face, covering her eyes for a moment with her free hand. "Why couldn't he have just stayed in fucking Australia? As if what she's been going through isn't bad enough? Why did he have to come back and upset her all over again? What the hell does..." Cheryl abruptly cut off the rest of her sentence as the front door opened. Loretta entered, backwards, fumbling to get her key out of the lock. The reason for her unusual entrance and lack of co-ordination quickly became apparent as Hayden followed her inside, their lips apparently super-glued together. Loretta had a fistful of Hayden's shirt in her other hand, which she used to pull him further into the house as soon as she retrieved her key. In a surprisingly well orchestrated maneuver, Hayden used one hand and foot to close the door behind him before allowing himself to be led across the room, his hands now settling on her hips. They were carefully, if blindly, steering their way past the table when Cheryl cleared her throat, causing them to break their enthusiastic lip-lock and look around.

"Evening all." Said Loretta, apparently completely unperturbed.

"Hey Cheryl, Wayne..." Hayden intoned. Unlike Loretta, he did have a slightly deer-in-headlights look in his eyes. He straightened up, letting go of Loretta, though she still had a grip on the front of his shirt.

"Hi." Cheryl replied, her tone neutral, though her mouth hung open slightly. Wayne just grinned, his eyes twinkling with amusement. The moment stretched on, with Cheryl and Hayden apparently both at a loss. Finally Loretta broke the silence.

"Night then!" She said brightly, letting go of Hayden's shirt and grabbing his hand instead. She turned and quickly dragged him out of the room and down the hallway.

"Night..." Cheryl said faintly, but not until they'd already entered Loretta's room and shut the door.

"Funny thing, she didn't really seem all that upset." Wayne deadpanned.

"I guess not." Cheryl replied, still staring down the hallway.

"So I guess they're back together then." Judd said, now grinning at Cheryl's apparent state of shock.

"I guess so." Her second absent-sounding response was too much for Wayne, he started chuckling. She gave him a sharp glance, but his grin and laughter were infectious. As the shock wore off, she also began to smile and let out a single snort of laughter, rubbing her forehead and eyes. Wayne put down his cup and pulled her into his arms again, this time face to face. She leaned her cheek on his bare chest, tucking her head under his chin with a heartfelt sigh.

"Come on woman, lets head for bed eh?" Judd said, his voice slightly muffled against her hair.

"You don't have to work tonight?" Cheryl asked, pulling back enough to look him in the eye.

"Nah, one of the security guards offered to do the patrol. He wanted some overtime and I figured the least I can do is let the guys do as much as I can afford. I'm not looking forward to breaking the news that I have to cut staff." He sighed, and for a moment, Cheryl felt her earlier fury bubble up again, but it was also mixed with deep admiration for Wayne. She pulled him into a fierce, if brief, kiss.

"You're a good man, you know that? Far too good for the likes of Gary bloody Savage." She said emphatically. "You'll find more contracts, I know you will." He looked down, a little surprised by her vehemence. Then he smiled, his mood lightening.

"Yeah, of course I will." He said, leaning in to kiss her again, this time a much longer, lingering kiss. "So, what do you think about that suggestion I made a little while ago?" He asked.

"I think... that's the best idea I've heard all day." Cheryl said, grinning and reaching for the tucked-in edge of his towel, trying to loosen it. He jinked backwards, grabbing hold just in time to stop the towel slipping off. With an evil chuckle, Cheryl made another grab. He turned and ran, and she followed, pausing only to turn off the kitchen light before chasing him down the hall.


End file.
